We’re not just talking about your relationships with a girlfriend or boyfriend - husband or wife, we’re talking about all of your relationships. Your friends, family, classmates, co-workers... You see, when you’re addicted to something you’re going to have addictive behaviors that are going to affect every relationship and nearly every aspect of your life.

The United States Congress asked Dr. Jill Manning, a therapist who has worked with hundreds of pornography addicts to review the research on its effects and share what she found. In a special congressional hearing in November of 2005, Dr. Manning shared a report detailing several areas of harm.

First of all, there is clear evidence that long-term pornography use sets people up for feeling more depressed and empty than those who do not use. One big reason for this is that the pleasure center in the brain gets so worn out by constant artificial stimulation that it simply stops being able to respond to more natural kinds of pleasure.

Basically, you slowly start to become numb or desensitized to everyday activities.

Life can lose enthusiasm when we’re in the habit of experiencing a higher level of artificial excitement. Everything else can eventually become as boring and bland as an hour-long infomercial about tube socks.

This is one of the scariest effects of extended pornography use, how it starts to change our experiences with other people. On a broad level, pornography use can cause people to feel less interested in caring about others around them. Imagine the profound impact this has on our society. Pornography is isolating our population.

What about romantic partners? There's an idea out there that pornography helps to improve our sexuality and make romance even more exciting. Studies actually show the opposite: pornography creates less closeness between partners, less excitement romantically and less satisfaction in real sexual experiences (Zillman & Bryant 1984 & 1988). Not only that but it actually increases your appetite for more porn. It’s almost like we can’t be satisfied once we develop this kind of appetite.

I don’t know about you, but I think one of the things many people look forward to most is a relationship, an exciting romance, and satisfying sexual experiences in their lives. Just think of the millions of love songs and stories out there inspired by real emotions.

 Researchers in Dartmouth’s social health psychology lab discovered that media with "racy scenes" leads to earlier sex with more casual partners and more unsafe sex (Peng, 2012). 

If "racy scenes" have this effect, imagine the impact of pornography. Unfortunately, there are more serious problems that breed from pornography addiction, like having completely unrealistic expectations about sexual partners.



Researchers from the American Psychological Association recently looked at the impact of heavy exposure to sexual images on relationships. Among other things, the report concludes that: "Exposure to narrow ideals of female attractiveness may make it difficult for some men to find an 'acceptable' partner or to fully enjoy intimacy with a female partner." 

So if you’re expecting young, photo shopped Pamela Anderson and you get Average Allison, how is that going to influence your ability to have a realistic, healthy relationship?

 Within the current media atmosphere, "many individuals have become uncomfortable with 'real bodies' given the pervasiveness of stereotypes." 

One counselor called this problem, "Sexual Attention Deficit Disorder": "Just as people with real ADD tend to be easily distracted, guys with SADD have become so accustomed to the high levels of visual novelty and stimulation... that they’re unable to focus on... a real woman" (Kerner, 2011).



And guess what? The same thing goes for women as well. They begin to compare their sex life to what they see as much more glamorous and arousing on screen. 

Harvard scientist Susan Orbach writes of an "eroding individual appreciation of the unaltered human form" (Orbach, 2009). Another researcher summarized her findings from hundreds of interviews, saying that individuals are developing "a distorted sense of what a normal woman's body is," adding, "suddenly a normal woman's body looks abnormal" (Hamilton, 2009).



Let me reiterate. Most girls out there don’t weigh ninety pounds and have size DD breasts. 

Another thing, did you know that 70% of pornography is viewed between nine and five when most people are at work or school? What do you think that’s doing to our society? 

In addition to thwarting perceptions and expectations of sexuality, relationships, and the appearance of partners, the FBI’s statistics show that pornography is found at 80% of the scenes of violent sex crimes or in the homes of the perpetrators (Anderson, 1992). 80 PERCENT! That’s 4/5ths of the pie! And that is just what they’ve found, what about the people who are Internet savvy and know how to cover their tracks?



And don’t get us started on the pornography’s link to sex trafficking or child abuse.

But lets go back to where the rubber hits the road all of us, our relationships. And not just any relationship but the ones we care about most. 

Research shows that pornography leads people to care less about committing to anyone particular for very long- especially with marriage. Statistics show that if they do get married, individuals with pornography problems are more likely to have tension with their partner, less interest in having children and less attention to the children that are born, and increased likelihood of cheating (Zillman & Bryant 1984 & 1988). Porn consumption is significantly related to aggregate divorce rates. (Daines & Shumway, 2011).

Oh good ol’ pornography. Supporting family values since… never.

Don't get discouraged, though. Individuals who leave pornography behind and cultivate their own, "comfort with real bodies," are significantly more likely to be involved in a committed, healthy relationship. There is still hope for all of us.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

REFERENCES:

• Anderson, K. (1992). "Pornography." http://www.leaderu.com/orgs/probe/docs/porno.html
• Daines M. & Shumway T. (2011). "Pornography and Divorce."
• Kerner I. (2011). "How Porn Is Changing Our Sex Lives" http://thechart.blogs.cnn.com/2011/01/20/how-porn-is-changing-our-sex-lives/
• Orbach, S. (2009). "Bodies."    
  
• Peng, J. (2012). Racy Scenes Encourage Greater Sexual Activity. The Dartmouth Staff. 
• Zillmann, D., and J. Bryant, (1988), “Pornography’s Impact on Sexual Satisfaction,” Journal of Applied Social Psychology 18, 438-453.